


You Want to WHAT?

by orphan_account



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Background Les Amis de l'ABC, Drabble, Ficlet, Flirting, Humor, M/M, Oblivious Enjolras, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Enjolras/Grantaire, Sexual Humor, Slang, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-18 08:58:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3563783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I bet you that I can walk up to Enjolras and tell him I want to suck his dick and he won't even notice," said Grantaire.</p><p>Or, a modern day reimagining of the "I'd black your boots" scene.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Want to WHAT?

"I bet you that I can walk up to Enjolras and tell him I want to suck his dick and he won't even notice," said Grantaire, grinning as he took a swig of a Mike's hard lemonade.

Joly, Bahorel, Courfeyrac, and Bossuet all laughed, earning disapproving looks from others in the café who were trying to get work done. "Oh please," said Bahorel. "I doubt our angel is that pure!"

"We shall see." Grantaire left his drink on the table and swaggered over to Enjolras, who was absent mindedly licking his lips in a most enticing way as he drafted an official complaint to the city concerning the ragged conditions of a homeless shelter. 

Grantaire was certain he could hear Courfeyrac and Joly making bets as he cleared his throat.

"Yes?" Enjolras looked up at him with a hint of cold distain, but Grantaire was one for moaning when a lover let ice cubes melt on his body during sex, and with that feeling in mind he gathered up his courage and could bear Enjolras's look.

"Enjolras, I would like to give you a blowjob." 

There was silence in the room, broken only by a sort of dying sound as Joly desperately tried to keep his giggles down. 

"Grantaire, for your information, I already own a leafblower and have a gardener. While I appreciate your rather odd offer, your time would be better used circulating the petition we, the group, spent a great deal of time discussing last week." 

Grantaire smiled, puzzling Enjolras. "I have just rebuked you, yet you are gleeful?"

"Oh Enjolras, I'll do as you say, but you truly are a dear."

Enjolras was still puzzled but shrugged it off, returning to his letter as everyone else figured out Grantaire's new game, chuckles even spreading to Combeferre.

Grantaire tried again the next day.

"Enjolras, what can I do for you today?"

Enjolras raised his eyebrows. "What would you possibly do for me?"

"I learned the clarinet in school. I could play yours, if you like."

"Your dubious amount of musical talent does not have a place here. Try to concentrate!"

And so it went.

"I want to give you some brain, Enjolras."

"You don't have any brains to give." Enjolras didn't even look up from his work. 

"I'll black your boots."

That one really threw Enjolras for a loop. "But I'm wearing loafers."

Finally he ran out.

"Enjolras, there's been something I've been saying the past week that you don't seem to get."

Enjolras nodded. "You've been acting rather odd. Spit it out."

Grantaire smirked. "Oh, that's the opposite of what I want to do."

"What?"

"I want to take your penis in my mouth and suck on it until you orgasm down my throat so I can swallow your semen. Is that clear enough for you?"

Enjolras stared, a satisfying blush rising on his cheeks. "But /why/?" 

"I adore you in every way, how about that?" Grantaire chuckled at Enjolras's expression and shook his head. "Perfect virgin."


End file.
